From all the many different Christian dating principles on this website, this one is definitely one of the most important. The principle is that you are ready to start dating when you don't feel like you have to be with someone in order to be happy and complete.
If you are still under the mindset that you need to date or be in a relationship in order to feel fulfilled and complete then the chances are that you are not really ready to date. Thinking that your fulfillment and happiness in life is based on being with someone is a big mistake. It possibly indicates that there might be other issues, that there might be something lacking in your life and you think it's the job of the person you are dating to fill that void.
From personal experience, believe me when I say that your fulfillment and completeness in life will not come from the person you are dating or indeed your husband or wife when you get married. They will not always understand you, they can't always be there for you no matter how hard they try, they won't have all the solutions to your problems no matter how much they want to help, and they are not supposed to because they are not God.
Don't look to man for something that God is supposed to do - the wise will understand that statement.
This is one of the most important Christian dating principles because when you feel you need to date, it shows almost a sign of desperation, and implies that something is lacking, but when you choose to date rather than need to date it shows that you have made an informed choice and we tend to make better choices when we are not in need.
For example if you desperately need a job, you might just grab the first one that comes along, regardless of whether its really the kind of Job you want, but when you already have a Job, you might make a decision to get an even better job or even start a business. The difference is that the decision is based on your preference and desire and not desperation and need.
You shouldn't go into a relationship hoping to find fulfillment you should already be fulfilled, you should already be comfortable and secure in yourself, you should already be happy. Unlike popular belief, a relationship is not about two halves coming together to make a whole, it is about two whole people coming together to build a life.
Two incomplete people cannot build a healthy relationship because they will both end up draining eachother emotionally because they will be constantly depending on eachother to feel happy and validated. They will place too much expectations and pressure on eachother and end up frustrating the life out of eachother.
It is interesting that of all the Christian dating principles in the bible, this is one of the first ones that God established. Adam was so busy fulfilling his purpose, he was so busy fulfilling the work and assignment that God had given him, he was so secure and complete in himself that he didn't even know he needed a wife. God is the one that decided that Adam needed a partner, not Adam himself. Adam didn't go running to God crying "I need me a woman"
It is also interesting that before Eve came along Adam was alone but he wasn't lonely. He was fulfilled living out his God given purpose and potential that he didn't have time to be lonely. One of the cures to loneliness is to discover your God given assignment and pour yourself into it. Don't pursue a date or a relationship, pursue your life's purpose and seek first the kingdom and all other things (including a life partner )will be added.
Even in marriage when both husband and wife have discovered their life's purpose, they don't put too much pressure on eachother by insisting that their spouse has to be their source of happiness and fulfillment. They have already found their fulfillment in God and their life's purpose so they can just focus on their love and intimacy rather than trying to compensate for eachothers insecurities.
So remember, you are ready to date when you don't need to. You are ready to date when you don't need any man or woman in order to feel happy or fulfilled.
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