In the quest to find love and be loved many people have found themselves in bad relationships. Out of desperation people often hold on to relationships they really need to and should get out of.
Some stay out of fear that they might never find someone else, some stay because they think of the investment they have made in the relationship and wonder how they can start all over with someone else, some stay because they are desperate and they don't want to be lonely and yet some stay because they don't even know that they are in a bad relationship, they have become accustomed to being treated as rubbish and see it as normal.
Unhealthy relationships often have warning signs and those signs are there to alert you that you are in a bad and potential dangerous relationship. You then have three options when you receive these signals. You can either:
1. Stay and put up with it and be unhappy (which I don't recommend.)
2. Work with your partner to turn your relationship into a positive one.
3. If it isn't possible to turn the relationship around get out and move on. (but this is not an option if you are married so your best bet is No:2)
One of such signals that you are in a bad relationship is when there is an imbalance in giving. You are in an unhealthy relationship if you are the one doing all the giving, you go out of your way to give your time, your love, your money, your attention, your emotions, etc. You put your everything into the relationship, you do your best to please and be there for your partner yet they give you nothing in return and are happy to just keep receiving from you and using you and never once making the attempt to give to you as well.
True love requires mutual giving and mutual sharing. Both parties in the relationship must contribute towards the growth of love in the relationship, love cannot be one-sided, love needs to be mutual for it to grow. You cannot continue to be the only one giving, you will eventually burn out and they will eventually drain you until you have nothing left to give.
Imagine yourself as a jug of water and your partner as a glass cup. When your partner is thirsty you keep filling their glass with the water from your jug but the glass cup never makes any deposit into the jug. Every time you are the one pouring into the glass cup and after a while the water in the jug will run out and there will be nothing left to give.
That's what happens in an imbalanced relationship where only one person is doing all the giving eventually they would have milked you and drained you of everything you have, then they will drop the bombshell that they don’t want to be with you anymore after they have gotten all they can from you.
Unfortunately there are some people in this kind of relationship and they don't realize that it is bad for them, they don't recognize that it is one of the warning signals of bad relationships. They think it is their duty to carry their partner through life, they think it's what they need to do in order to deserve love.
Such people have usually had a bad childhood where the love they received from their parents was conditional based on something good they did, instead of unconditional where your parents love you just because you are their child and not because of anything you did.
Of course there are instances in a relationship where you partner might not be able to contribute, maybe they are in between jobs, or have a physical disability and can't work, such cases are understandable but those are not even the kind of case I'm talking about because even if your spouse or partner cant contribute financially they can still give their love, their time, their affection etc.
But what I'm talking about here is a relationship where you got an individual in a relationship who is just out to use the other person and the person being used isn't wise enough to recognize that they are being used, that is what I refer to as an imbalanced relationship and is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
If you find yourself in this kind of predicament then you need to have a serious talk with your partner and let them know that things can't go on this way.
If you already feel drained in the relationship as a result of doing all the giving then let them know, let them know that you will no longer put up with it, let them know that they need to begin to pull their weight and show you the love and affection you deserve and contribute equally in all aspects of the relationship be it financially, emotionally, psychologically, etc.
Imbalanced relationships are a form of bad relationships and bad relationships are unhealthy for you and if something is unhealthy for you then it can potentially kill you.