What Should I Do if a Guy I Love is Cheating or Has Cheated in Our Relationship

Love and relationships are such a magnificent time in life that it reminds me of a film forest Gump where the main character says that his "mama always said that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get". That always made me laugh as a child, but when I grew up, it took on a whole different meaning for me.

I see love and relationships like a box of chocolates, you simply cannot know what you're gonna get. No matter how much you love somebody, you just cannot predict how they're going to act or what the things that they'll bring into the relationship will be.

But it helps to know what you will bring; the standards, values and uprightness that you stand for and will not compromise which I think should be maintenance of a safe, healthy and nourishing environment, a value and respect for your being, the respect for the potential that you carry and a person that deserves to be loved, respected and seen as a privilege to be with.

If you are with somebody and they are cheating on you, they have or are sending out a message that you should pay attention to; they made this decision, because most actions are decisions. An act like this does not happen by mistake.

There are different things to consider if they were drugged or raped and I am sorry if that is your situation. Otherwise a person cheating on you knows full well what they are doing and you have to take note of that.

It can be really hard to take and understand because the person would have sworn that they love and cherish you and often that they cannot live without you.

Human beings are strange creatures and can make some poor decisions when under pressure. However, before you decide what to do; I would advise you to remove yourself from that atmosphere/relationship so that you can think clearly. You have to look after your mind and uphold your high standards of respect and dignity. And our response to a situation, our behaviour teaches people how to treat us.

So by my advising that you remove yourself from the situation, I am not saying that you should not or cannot talk about it with the person, but you can do that when you are in a safer environment that you are in control of. When you leave, you can find a qualified friend, pastor, and mentor etc to speak to as a way of letting out your hurt, betrayed and shocked emotions.

When a person treats you in a certain way, they reveal what they think of you and where their mind is. You have to understand the bottom line, which is that they have chosen to make that decision, to cheat on you and you may or may not want to find out why they did it.

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You have to establish whether it was a one off mistake or whether they are revealing that they are tired of a relationship with you. Whether they are a cheat and need professional help and therefore not ready for a relationship or whether they were just using you etc.

You will only know that if you yourself are in a sound mind. First thing is to pray for wisdom, clarity, understanding and direction from God. This is not an easy situation to be in because your emotions are tied up and it often wants to make an easy decision because of emotional bonds with this person. But bare these things in mind:

You should not be in a relationship where you are being cheated on, it violates your being and the truth of the other person's word; revealing that they cannot be trusted.

- Time apart is the best solution for that.

- When there is no trust, there is no relationship so it is only time that can prove whether trust can be re-established.

- Time apart again is advised.

So talk to the person and judge what is going on. Remember not to compromise, if you allow it once without time to prove the person's word, they will go on to do it over and over again without any considerations for your feelings.