christian dating advice on whether it is wrong for christians to date

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Christian dating advice on whether dating is wrong for christian singles

The other day I got an email from a guy asking for some Christian dating advice and wanting to know why some churches say that it is wrong for Christian brothers and sisters to date?

Knowing that others would benefits from this Christian dating advice, I thought I’d share with you the reply I gave to his question.

My response:

I can understand why some Christian denominations don’t believe in dating because technically speaking dating isn’t really a biblical concept. Many Christians frown on the dating thing because a lot of Christian singles are abusing the dating process.

A lot of Christians guys as well as girls use dating almost as a trial and error thing and that’s because they got their concept of dating from the world, in the world people date and see how things go and even though they are not sure where the relationship is headed and if there is a future for them, they have no boundaries during dating and can even have sex from the first day they meet and if they later decide its not working out, they go their separate ways and unfortunately a lot of Christians are also following this worldly template that’s why some churches frown on dating. I believe that part of the problem is the lack of or insuffient christian dating advice given to christian singles in churched hence why they only have the worldly model to go by and thats one of the reason I cretaed this website.

Christians prefer the concept of courtship over that of dating because the idea behind courtship is that, there is no trial and error involved and you have prayed and sort Gods direction before embarking on the relationship. With Christian courtship you know that there is true commitment and that the relationship is going somewhere and you also have boundaries and conduct your relationship and courtship according to biblical standards, that way the chances of singles in a relationship taking advantage of eachother and breaking each other’s hearts minimizes.

With Christian courtship there is no "seeing how it goes" and you know where you stand from the beginning, not that one of you thinks the relationship is serious while the other thinks it’s just a casual thing, none of those silly games, no taking me out and treating me like your girl for 6 months making me believe we have something special then I see you with another chick and you tell me we are just friends. - none of that in a true Christian courtship but when people use the term "dating" it suggests something casual and therefore singles take advantage of each other and play games with eachother because they believe they are "just dating" and that’s why some churches frown on dating and prefer the concept of courtship.

I personal have a different approach to the whole thing and see Christian dating as a natural evolution into Christian courtship. I believe that the dating process is the "getting to know you" stage of the relationship and before getting to know you I would have sort God to ask whether you are worth getting to know, in order words, it’s still important to seek God before you start to date someone not after you have started dating and your judgment is already clouded because you have started to develop feeling.

Once you have gotten know them and a friendship has been established and you both know that it is the will of God for the two of you to be together them your relationship will naturally move to the stage of Christian courtship where your friendship grows and you begin to know eachother families, talk about the future and plan your life together. I believe that if this approach is taken then there will be less of the hurt that singles experience in relationships. And if you take my approach to dating then there is nothing wrong with dating, but if Christian singles take the worlds "trial and error, anything goes approach" to dating then there is everything wrong with dating.