I got a question the other day from a lady that wanted some Christian dating advice for women on whether it was okay for a Christian lady to approach a Christian guy for a date.
I think as a lady you have to be careful if you are thinking about approaching a Christian guy that you like because it can backfire on you even if the guy initially liked you.
The reason I say that is because guys by nature like to chase, and having a lady chase you can sometimes be a turn off for some guys. Men by nature are hunters and if a lady is the one doing the chasing it can sometimes spoil the thrill of the chase.
When I was a single man, I personally wouldn't have felt comfortable with a lady approaching me for a date even if I was already thinking about speaking to her. I personally feel that the man should be the one that does the approaching, the bible says that he that finds a wife finds a good thing, I take that to mean that it is the guys responsibility to go out and look in order to find the good thing he is looking for.
There are some people that give Christian dating advice to women that differ from the advice I am sharing here, some people believe that it is okay for a Christian lady to approach the guy for a date, and indeed there have been instances where the lady was the one that initiated the relationship and the relationship ended up being a fruitful one and even led to marriage, some guys are okay with ladies approaching them especially guys that are very shy and nervous when it comes to speaking to women, but I believe that the majority of guys would prefer to do the chasing.
Guys can be very proud, if you as a lady are the one initiating a relationship or a date with a guy, he might end up not really respecting you and giving you the value and honor you deserve because he didn't work hard to get you.
He might even start bragging to his friends that you are the one that chased him, he might see it as you being easy or desperate, even if he agrees to date you or be in a relationship with you it could just be because you made it easy for him and he might initially go with the easy option but if he later finds someone else that he would prefer to date then it would be easy for him to leave because you made it easy for him in the beginning and as the saying goes "easy come, easy go"
From my perspective as a Christian man who has been in the dating game it is better when the guy does the approaching, it may sound old school but hey that's my opinion. I know that there are cases when the lady does the approaching and it still works out, but those cases are usually the exception and not the norm, but at the end of the day, it's still your choice whether you want to take that step or not. I am not saying that it is wrong for a lady to approach a guy; I'm just saying that it is better when a guy does the initiating of the date or relationship.
I believe that if a guy really likes you, no matter how shy or nervous he is, he will eventually summon the courage to approach you, even if he has to write you a letter or tell you through a friend, but he'll find a way. So if it's a case where you know the guy likes you and you equally like him back, but he is scared to approach you, exercise a little patience and eventually he will make the move.
When offering Christian dating advice to women who have asked my opinion about this issue in the past, I usually tell them to do what Faith did.
I was a bit nervous to approach Faith before we started dating/courtship, I was admiring her from a distance and I badly wanted to talk to her but I was nervous that I would say the wrong things and make a fool of myself, so when I was at home at night sometimes, I would be imagining the scenario of me talking to her which allowed me to plan what I was going to say to her - I guess I was rehearsing or practicing, whatever you want to call it and I did that for a few months.
Meanwhile at church even though we had never spoken, Faith already knew I liked her because I was always starring at her and whenever she looked in my direction I would try and quickly look in the opposite direction so that it wouldn't be obvious that I was checking her out, but she always caught me out.
But what Faith did, that I advice other women to do is to let the guy know that it is okay for him to approach you rather than you approaching him yourself. You see Faith equally liked me, but she isn't the type to go chasing after a guy, she just let me know that it was okay to approach her and come and talk to her through her actions. She too was starring at me in church and looking away when I was about to catch her looking :) (we were both playing the looking game).
In fact the looking game got so intense that it got to a stage where we both knew we were checking eachother out that there was no point pretending anymore and trying to quickly look in the other direction, so after a while the looking at eachother game became obvious and was now accompanied with smiles whenever we caught eachother looking.
Even when I eventually approached her to introduce myself she was friendly and receptive yet not desperate or easy but she gave me enough clues to let me know that It was okay to chase and chase I did!
So I hope all that makes sense and I hope you get the gist of what I am trying to say, if you like a guy and have a feeling that he likes you too, give him enough clues to let him know that it is okay for him to approach you, but be smart about it so that he doesn't think you're easy or desperate.
So that's my Christian dating advice for Christian women who are thinking about approaching a guy. Again remember that this is my opinion and some of the advice is based on my personal experience, at the end of the day it's up to you to decide what you want to do, I am just here to serve as a guide but ultimately the decision is yours and as long as you feel okay with the decision you make regardless of what that decision is, then that's cool.
There is another article that I found on this subject on Evan Marc Katz blog entitle: The Best Dating advice for women: Dont Do Anything. Check it out here