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We Have Had Many Issues In The Past, Can We Still Build A Christian Relationship?Someone asked us the following Christian relationship question: Do you think 2 Christians, who have had many issues in the past (emotional, physical) but have never really dated can take time out and get it right, i.e. start from scratch and make the relationship Godly? Our Answer: We think it is definitely possible, this question in itself demonstrates a heart that wants to do the right thing. You see, it isn't always about how you start, it is how you finish that is most important. God is more concerned about your end than your beginning; God is a God of second, third, fourth, fifth and how ever many chances you need. A relationship that started off on the wrong path can definitely be turned around into a proper Christian relationship if the two people are willing to commit to making the relationship godly. If two people started off a relationship on the wrong note then like you rightly said, there needs to be some time out for each individual to work on themselves and realign themselves with God, a time of rededicating your life to God and making God the center of your life. A new commitment to total obedience to God is also needed. Dealing with the past and getting over the past is also very key. If there have been issues of sexual immorality and the crossing of sexual boundaries in the relationship then there needs to be repentance and you also need to accept the forgiveness of God because many people still walk around with the guilt of their past mistakes even though God has forgiven them, they still feel condemned and feel like they are not worthy of anything or anyone good that will honor them and treat them right. Regardless of your past mistakes you still deserve a good Christian relationship, you still deserve to have someone that will love and cherish you so don't you dare settle for anything less. God doesn’t hold our past against us once we ask for forgiveness so don’t hold yourself in unnecessary bondage. It is possible to start from scratch but it will be quite difficult especially if some unhealthy habits had already been developed. But if there is a true commitment from the two of you to do the right thing and the willingness to set boundaries and stick to them, then I personally see no reason why you can't start from scratch and make the relationship Godly. It is all about your willingness to change and do the right thing, and to be honest that is all God really requires from us as his children, he just wants us to change for the better and do the right thing and once we do that he is able to restore us. But if and when you do start from scratch make sure to remember that you are in a Christian relationship and therefore you need to conduct yourselves likes Christians and keep the relationship godly. Boundaries like not indulging in passionate kissing, not lying down on the same bed together on top of eachother, not allowing any heavy petting, not spending the night at each other’s house, not spending too much time alone indoors when there is nobody else around etc should be observed at all times with no exceptions because once you compromise once, the chances are you’ll keep compromising and you’ll be right back at square one. Many people think they are strong enough to resist temptation so they become careless and relaxed, they allow themselves to get too close and intimate with the person they are dating thinking that they wont fall and before long they find themselves in all sorts of mess with great regrets. They forget that the bible says that “let no one think he stands lest he falls” it is better to be extra careful and not take any chances and that means being disciplined and self controlled in your Christian relationship and not giving the devil a foothold. Finally let us encourage you with this scripture: "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves andpray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hearfrom heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." - 2 Chronicles 7:14 God is able to heal and forgive and forget the mistakes of the past and bless us with a new beginning, all we need to do is seek him and surrender to him. Hope you find this response helpful and encouraging God Bless You Paul&Faith DatingAdvice4ChristianSingles.Com
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