Characteristics of Controlling Behavior
If you always have to do what they say, and do things their way and they never have to compromise their stand to please you and always get their way then you are in relationship with someone who has controlling behavior.
If when you express your happiness and joy or are celebrating your achievements and accomplishments, they get angry then they have control issues which has its roots in their insecurity.
If your relationship is based on you always doing things for them and sacrificing for them and you feel like you always have to do something to qualify for their love and affection and they can’t love you for just being you, if you only get affection for what you do rather than for just being you then you are in relationship with someone who has control issues.
If your partner is mean and likes to put you down for no apparent reason, then they are suffering from a controlling behavior If your actions always irritate the person you are dating or in relationship with then they may be suffering from a controlling behavior.
If the person you are going out with sets standards that are very difficult for you to reach all the time or greater demands are placed on you than you can ever meet, then they have control issues.
If the two of you never seem to agree on anything because nothing you suggest , say or do is ever good enough then they are suffering from controlling behavior.
If your discussions do not lead to the two of you agreeing on an issue but instead leads to you having to always compromise your feelings or desires all the time then you partner is suffering from controlling behavior.
Facts about people with controlling behavior
The controller has a way of being cruel, tearful, creepy and hurtful when they are not getting their way or when the person they are in relationship with is doing something they see as being wrong.
A person with control issues is more concerned about things being a certain way than relating in love, they don't know how to give love and can have difficulties also in receiving love. When such giving and receiving of love is absent in a relationship, it can cause the person being starved of love to go and look for love else where.
People with control issues don't like to be vulnerable so they are very weary of becoming too loving and affectionate. If they express any emotion at all, its usually that of anger when they feel their authority is being challenged.
People with controlling behavior have a way of always reminding you of what is wrong with you and what is right with them, they want you to always know that they are better than you and even want to make you feel lucky that you have them and will never find anyone to treat you better.
People with control issues in a relationship have usually had a childhood where they were put down and ridiculed, they were usually made to feel like nothing they ever did was good enough. Controllers are usually self-reliant so they like to be in charge of everything, this makes it difficult for their spouse or partner to contribute.
Controllers have a way of constantly reminding their partner about their flaws and past mistakes, they want you to feel like you always owe them something and that you should be spending the rest of your life trying to make up for the past, they find it hard to forgive and forget and they keep bring up the past as a way of manipulating and maintaining control over you.
Take the controlling relationship test and Abusive relationship quiz to see whether there are signs of controlling behavior and abuse in your relationship. Click here to take the test
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