Is It Right For A 19 Year Old Girl To Date A 29 Year Old Man

Question

I know Sarah and Abraham were married and there was a ten years age difference, is it OK if a 19 year old young Christian lady dates a 29 year old Christian man. They’re both dedicated Christians who know what they want in a relationship but are afraid of what the "church" may think. What do you think? But the guy doesn’t look 29. But the reality is that's his age.

Answer

When I first got this question my initial reaction was no way! I mean the average 19 year old lady is nowhere near ready or mature enough to date someone that is 10 years older than her. I mean they live in completely different worlds. At 29 he is probably living on his own, working and planning for his future, thinking about investments etc. while the 19 year old girl is probably still studying and living at home with her parents and isn’t really thinking about getting married and having kids just yet.

The second thing that came to my mind is that why would a 29 year old Christian man want to date a 19 year old girl, I mean shouldn’t a "normal" 29 year old man want to date someone closer to his age that is more mature?

But life isn't always as black and white as that. People automatically think that such a man only wants to take advantage of the young girl but what if his intentions and motives are pure, I mean I personally know a couple who fall into this category, this guy is about ten years older than the lady (maybe even slightly more than ten years older) and when they began dating she was 20 years old. They courted for about 2 years and are now married and expecting their first child.

I think if the 19 year old lady is mature is enough to date a 29 year old man, and if the 29 year old man truly has pure motives for the girl and can handle the annoyance that sometimes comes with dating someone that is slightly more immature then him, then they should be okay. Women tend to mature quicker than men anyways and the 10 year gap is only a big deal now because you're young.

I mean if a 50 year old man was dating a 40 year old woman, it wouldn’t be a big deal that there was a 10 year difference between them.

But at the same time, the 19 year old lady has to bear in mind that a 29 year old man is a mature man and not a teenager and he will probably be thinking about marriage and children soon and the 19 year old lady has to ask herself if she is ready for that.

The 19 year old lady has to ask herself if she is ready to deal with the responsibilities and challenges that come with dating a more mature man. For example He might want you to stay out late whereas your parents might want you home at a certain time (if you still live with them that is)

These are some of the challenges my wife and I faced when we were dating and there is only a 6 year gap between us.

But we overcame the challenges, it wasn’t easy though, it took it’s toll on our relationship and it was a real challenge that could have broken the relationship because when there is such a gap you are both at different places in life.

He wants to spend time with you but your parents might be strict and not permit you to go out after certain hours, even at 19 years of age (especially if you’re African)

He needs a quick financial assistance for some unexpected things that came up but you are unable to help him because you are not yet working.

He then starts to get frustrated with you, thinking to himself that what kind of relationship is this when I can’t even spend time with my girl when I want, or what kind of relationship is this where my woman can’t even help me when I need some financial assistance.

These are the realities of dating an older guy and these are not even all the issues that you’ll experience, these are just a couple that springs to mind as I’m answering this question.

So the 19 year old lady has to consider all the challenges that come with dating an older man and ask herself if she is ready and mature enough to deal with them.

And if the answer is yes, then why allow age to stand in the way of love (if it’s true love that is and not some dirty old guy trying to take advantage of an innocent young girl). However anything above 10 years gap in my opinion, I believe is too much.

So those are my thoughts on whether it is appropriate for a man who is 29 years of age to date a girl who is 19 years of age.

But I would like to know what you my readers think. I have put forward my case based on my understanding experience, but you might disagree or agree with my point. So I want to hear your opinion on this.

Use the form below to express how you feel about this issue. I look forward to reading your views on this issue.

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