I Think I Have Been Dating A Gay Christian - What do I do?

I recently received the following mail from a lady, who discovered that she might have been dating a gay christian. Shocked at this discovery, she wanted to know what to do

I met a guy in my church Jan 2010. We became good friends quickly. It was nice because we lived near each other and we would come together to fellowship with one another, building each other up. JULY 2010, he told me he loves me. I couldn't respond to that, even though I did like him, I felt I hadn't known him long enough to respond to such statement. He persisted and made it known that he wanted to build a relationship with me. I later accepted in NOV 2010.

We kept the relationship as holy as we could, there was no physical component at all. Anyway to cut the story short, I made a prayer in NOV 2010 for God to show me a sign as to weather being with this guy was in His will. I didn't receive an answer for a while, so I took the lack of a sign as a good sign; however, a couple of days ago, as bad as it may sound, I was looking through his email inbox, which revealed a possible homosexual relationship in his past (5yrs ago) and it turns out that I might have been dating a gay Christian. I confronted him with it, he tried to deny, but I began to quote some of the things said in these emails, so he later admitted that he was involved with homosexual activity on one occasion...

This surprised me greatly, but i'm a strong believer in that once someone becomes born again, all things a renewed and old things are passed away.

My questions are:

* How do I approach this situation?
* Can I take this as a valid sign?

I am praying for divine guidance, I just really want to walk in His will, that is my ultimate goal.

Your advice & prayers would be greatly received

Here is my response to her

My first instincts are to tread very carefully because you are possibly dating a gay Christian who might still secretly be practising homosexuality. Homosexuality has its roots in iniquity, it is a form of stronghold and something that needs to be broken off someone's life. It is possible for someone to be born again and still be struggling in that area because it is a spiritual thing that needs to be broken and once you have opened yourself up to it, you need God to do some major work on you to overcome it.

That's why you will hear of men of God who are molesting young boys - yes they are born again, yes they are men of God - but they had been exposed to homosexuality either through abuse and molestation as a child or through past sexual perverseness, either way once you are exposed to such a spirit, it takes the power of God to break one free from it otherwise the stronghold will continue to grip you, and you will continue to struggle in the area of your sexuality.

My advice to you, is to slow things down a little bit with regards to the relationship and pray a lot for God to direct you. If you do end up marrying this guy, you want to make sure you are going into marriage with him, with the assurance that the grip of homosexuality has been completely broken from his life, otherwise you might find that he continues to have homosexual affairs even during marriage which isn't uncommon (but that will never be your portion in Jesus name)

The fact that God allowed you to find out about it is certainly significant, although I wouldn't necessarily take it as a sign that God doesn't want you to be with him (even though that could also be the case) it could also mean that God wants you to pray for his deliverance but God definitely let you find out for a reason.

You should definitely pray more for more clarity and if possible add fasting to it, ask God to speak to you clearly about the issue and don't move forward until you are sure you've heard God. Marriage and relationships are too serious and too much is at stake to leave things to chance - this is your life and future we are talking about.

God must really love you, most people don't usually find out about things like this until its too late and that is the benefit of seeking the face of God before committing fully to a relationship. Well done for praying - I am so proud of you, the amount of singles we advice to pray and seek God about their relationship, but they refuse to pray they think you are just being overly spiritual and then they get themselves into something they never bargained for. God loves you too much and that's why he opened your eyes to this.

I am a firm believer in not judging people for their past or holding it against them, however you want to make sure that the past is indeed the past especially when your heart is at stake.

I pray that God gives you clarity concerning this issue and I pray that his will be done and that his purpose prevails

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