Why do guys when dating, jump from one girl to another and find it difficult to find someone to settle down with?

Well ladies I’m happy to tell you that 90% of the time when this happens, the problem isn’t with you but it’s the guy that lacks understanding.

You see, the problem with a lot of guys is that they are a victim of "the perfect girl myth." Most guys are looking for a girl who is the finished product. For these guys a girl has to have a perfect figure, dress in a certain way, flawless make up, hair speaking in tongues, she has to be a high flyer in her career as well as a brilliant cook and the list goes on and on.

The only problem is that this kind of girl doesn’t exist except in the guy’s head so he keeps doing trial and error with different girls because he is looking for a girl that doesn’t exist.

Guys there is nothing wrong with your list, but there is something wrong with you, you are jumping from girl to girl trying to find that image of perfection you see in your mind not knowing that God will only give you the raw materials, but then it’s up to you to turn that raw material into the image or vision that you see in your mind.

One of the commands God gave Adam was to cultivate everything that was in the Garden and that included his woman.

Genesis 2:15 – "Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it." (New American Standard Bible)

To cultivate means to bring the best out of. Guys, God will always bring you a woman with the potential to be the kind of mate you envision but it is up to you to carry out Gods command and cultivate her into fulfilling that potential so that she becomes that perfect girl you’ve been seeing in your dreams.

God will never give a guy the kind of woman he wants, he will give you the one you can cultivate and bring the best out of. He might give you a lady that doesn’t dress well so that you can dress her up, he might give you a lady that’s slightly overweight so that you can take her to the gym, he might give you a lady that has some insecurities and little confidence so that you can encourage her and lift her up, he might give you a woman that doesn’t know the bible as much as you or pray as much as you so that you can build her up spiritually.

God will always give you only the raw materials so that you can create the woman you want out of the one you have but most guys are so ignorant that they don’t know this, they want the finished product without putting in any work, and they want the finished product without fulfilling their responsibility as cultivator.

That’s why most guys are jumping from one girl to another, they have dated almost 100 girls and are still searching for “the perfect girl”, the chances are that the perfect girl for them has already come and gone because they were so blind and ignorant of their responsibility to bring the best out of the woman they have so that she can become the woman they want.

The problem with most guys is that they are so ignorant that they don’t know what to do with the woman they have, so they end up resenting her instead of cultivating her.

If you are not proud of the woman you have, if you are ashamed of her, that’s not an excuse to break her heart and throw her away, it’s an opportunity for you to access you ability to cultivate so that in a few months time when her friends see her they will notice the difference in her since she started dating you. They will see how her hair is always done, she dresses better, she’s growing spiritually, they begin to see your works and compliment you for the good work you are doing with their friend – some of her friends might even secretly become jealous and wish they were in her shoes.

When a guy understands his duty to cultivate he will stop jumping from one girl to another and find it easier to settle down.

Ladies, if a guy is unwilling to carry out his duty as cultivator then you are probably better off without him anyway because he doesn’t understand his role and duty as a man. So if a guy leaves you for another girl, don’t cry about it, realise that he is just chasing shadows and thank God that God delivered you from an ignorant man who doesn’t know what he is supposed to do with you.

He will eventually come to the realisation that he has been chasing shadows, that the perfect girl doesn’t exist, that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, then he will come crawling back when he realises your worth and I hope that by that time it would have been too late for him because you would have found a real man who is ready to take on the responsibility of cultivation.

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