I Don't Want To Feel Repulsed By The Girl I Genuinely Care For, Please Give Me Some Relationship Advice On How I Can Accept And Deal With Her Sexual Past.

Here is a question I received from one of my male readers who wanted me to give some relationship advice on accepting and dealing with the sexual past of his girlfriend.

Question

So I’m in a relationship with this girl that I really like. My issue is that she recently told me she was in a relationship with a non Christian before me for 4 years.

Her stance was no sex but was manipulated and convinced by him in the fourth year and gave up her resistance to him after being so strong. Even after he told her that he had already been unfaithful to her in there relationship with her friends with sex.

I don't know how to explain my thoughts or feelings on this specially with being a virgin still. I know we are not married and are far from it so I shouldn't worry about this until that does occur if God chooses it to. But I can't help my thoughts and feelings, that need to be addressed so that I don't feel repulsed by the girl I genuinely care for.

She also told me that she was sexually abused as a child so God has positioned me in a position where I need to be so cautious to protect her but also deal with myself. Please help! I really need some relationship advice on how to deal with this.

Answer

It must have taken a lot for her to open up to you about her past, it’s not easy to admit to someone that you have been sexually intimate in previous relationships or that you were abused as a child and you should respect and appreciate her honesty and openness. I don’t think it would be right for you to judge her based on her past and previous mistakes.

My relationship advice to you concerning this matter is that, if God has truly brought the two of you together and placed you in her life, then you are going to have to accept her with all her flaws, all her mistakes and all her challenges because that’s what Christ does for us when we come to him, he accepts us with our mess but he doesn’t keep us in our mess, he begins to work on us to become better people and he washes away our sins and presents us to himself without spot or wrinkle and if God has brought her into your life, then your role as the man in the relationship is to love her unconditionally like Christ loved the Church.

Your role is to help her become a better person, your role is to help her get over the guilt and shame of the past mistakes and abuse and not to Judge her for them, your role is to help her become the wonderful woman of God that God created her to be and help her come into the fullness of her purpose and destiny. God will never give you a perfect woman, just like we come to him imperfect. He will give you a woman you have to work on, you will have to create the woman you want out of the one you have. God does this because he needs to give us a way to exercise the gift of cultivation within us.

I think the following article I wrote called “The perfect girl myth” will also help you.

Hope this relationship advice has helped

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