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Some Essential Relationship Advice For Men Who Think They Need To Have It All Before Settling Down And Dont Know How To Make Their Intentions Known To A Girl Without Putting Pressure On Her.


Here is a question I received from one of my male readers who wanted me to give some relationship advice for men on where they should be in their career before settling down and also how to make your intentions known to a girl you like without putting pressure on her.


Christian Dating Service

Question

A lot of females seem to put value on a material things, and the kind of work that a guy is into. I do realize though that a guy has to be a giver no matter what line of work he is into.

Where were you in your career/vocation when you met your wife, had you figured things out as far as your life, dreams, and aspirations?

You mentioned that you made your intentions known right away, does that mean the first date, fifth. How do you not put pressure and be subtle while trying to be intentional?

Can you give some relationship advice for men regarding these issues with some examples?

ThanksGod Bless you and your ministry.

Answer

You know, it’s a real shame that good girls are hard to find these days even in church, many are too materialistic and want the finished product and that's why you have ladies in their late 30's still waiting for the finished product.

When I met my wife, I had just finished College, I didn't have much at the time and I never pretended to have what I didn't have either, I came to her as I was (in fact I used to pick her up in my friends car because I didn't have a car at the time and was renting a bedroom, not even a whole flat but just a room in the house), I did however have dreams and goals that I was working towards and she knew that, so she didn't look at my present circumstance but she saw my future, you want a lady that can see your future and want to help you get there even if you don't have much right now.

One of the key relationship advice for men that I like to emphasize is that you don't have to have it all when you approach a woman, but you do need to have figured out where you are going, your purpose and vision, you need to know what God has put you on this earth to do because ultimately when a woman comes into your life, she comes to help you accomplish what God put you on earth to do (that's why God made Adam a helper) if you are not doing anything and don't have plans to do anything then you don't need any help.

With regards to making my intentions known, I told her what I wanted literally the 2nd conversation we had, the first conversation we had was me introducing myself to her and the second time we spoke I was telling her that I wanted to get to know her more with the hope of something more serious later (Bold move Huh!)

But I didn't know how to be any other way, I believe in saying what I feel not what sounds good or clever and what I was feeling was that I eventually wanted to have a serious relationship with her. It probably was forward of me because I hardly knew her at the time, but I don't play games and I don't beat around the bush, I knew exactly what I wanted and I went for it, and that's another key relationship advice for men, you don't need to try to sound clever or impressive, using lame chat up lines, just say what you feel and be open and honest and if she is a good girl she will see your genuineness. Be yourself not Will Smith - You Are Not The Fresh Prince Of Bell Air!

I guess my motives came through by me being that bold and upfront, she could tell I wasn't playing games and what makes a lot of women unsure about guys is when guys play games. By me being that upfront I wasn't putting pressure on her, I was simply telling her how I felt about her, in fact after that, I hardly spoke about my feelings for her, I guess it came through anyway but from there on we focused on being friends and getting to know each other and I never put pressure on her to be with me, although from time to time I would ask whether she had made up her mind if she would like to have a more serious relationship (but she didn't make a decision until she was sure that it was Gods will and that is important)

I think the key thing is that, the whole process was natural and things evolved naturally, we didn't try to force things to happen, we just let God and nature take their course. You cant really do a serious relationship by some kind of rule book, every situation is different and what worked for me might not work for you. The key thing is to just be yourself when you approach someone, commit things to God and let the friendship naturally evolve and if its meant to be, it will - that's the best advice I can give.

God Bless.

Paul

datingadvice4christiansingles.com


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