Relationship Advice For Those Stuck In A Situation Where Their Partner Cant Make Up Their Mind Who They Want To Be With

Here is a question I received from one of my female readers who wanted me to give some relationship advice on how to deal with the fact that her boyfriend cant decide between staying with her or going back to his ex.

Question

Hi I need some relationship advice, I met this guy at church, the way we met it felt like it was from God. We both believe we are tailor-made for each other. However his ex wants him back and keeps on calling him crying plus her dad has cancer and the guy I’m dating mum died from cancer so his ex wants him around her.

He told me he wants to support her and I understand but he doesn't believe he can because I won’t be happy. Now he has split up with me saying maybe he has made mistake getting with me so soon because he fills a burden from his ex. He tells me if it wasn’t for her we would be set for life.

He still tells me he wants to be with and marry me but he has to deal with his thoughts. What should I do? Should I wait but he will not let me go. I told him with need space whilst he thinks about who he wants but he do not want space as he believes that it will not help. I’m hurting and I don't want to hurt did God intend this for me. Maybe this will help us in the long run. But I don't want to wait around for him to tell me he is going back to her. Thanks

Answer

I personally think that this guy is confused and God is not the author of confusion. if he is saying that he got with you too soon then there is a chance that he used you as a rebound from his ex and is now confused about who to settle with now that the dust is settled, you deserve better than that.

In any case, no guy should hold the power to keep you waiting (I'm straight up old school and believe that if anyone should keep the other waiting, it should be the woman keeping the man waiting because the man chases and the woman gives consent, the power really lies with the woman) so keep your options open, even if God has said that he is the one doesn’t mean you have to put your life on hold for him. He needs to sort himself out and you need to keep living life and enjoying life not waiting for him to decide if he wants to be with you or not.

And think about it, do you really want to be with a person who has to choose between you and another person, doesn't that mean you are just one of many options, it means that you might not even be his first choice and there is competition, is that the kind of guy you really want? wouldn't you prefer a guy who see' you as his one and only and isn't trying to decide between you and someone else because you are the only one he is thinking about... just something you should consider.

Hope this advice helps

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