Is There Still Hope That She’ll Come Back Even Though The Relationship Ended Because She Realized That She Was On The Rebound

Hey Paul, I was in a relationship with a girl for a short time andthings were great, but I think it was too soon after her last relationship hadended because she suddenly ended things, explaining that she wasn't ready andher feelings weren't there anymore. Do you think it's possible that she justneeds time to get over her last relationship? We are still friends, but it's hard for me, and I'm not sure whether I should just try to be her friend orwhether I should somehow hint that I still have feelings for her. Thanks.

My Response:

I think that she might have unintentionally used you to get over the hurt of the previous relationship and now that she has dealt with her feelings she maybe realizes that the relationship with you is not what she really wants. This is unfortunate but it does happen sometimes.

I can understand how you feel because I have been in your shoes, a while ago, there was a girl I was dating, it was a similar situation, she had recently broken up with her ex when we hooked up, things were great for a while and all of a sudden out of nowhere she dropped a bomb shell on me out of the blue that she didn't want the relationship anymore.

I kept on telling myself that maybe she would have a change of heart but after a while it became clear that she just used me to get over her ex and that the relationship was truly and definitely over. Looking back I'm glad it didn't work out with her or else I wouldn't have met my wonderful wife.

In effect what I am trying to say is that you should probably move on with your life. You deserve better anyway (you sound like a good guy.) Not every relationship will work out but trust God to bring the right person to you.

Learn from this experience and move on. If you are still friends you might want to ask her where the relationship went wrong for her, my guess is that if she truly did use you to get over her ex (which was probably unintentional, I don't think she did it on purpose) she won't tell you what really went wrong, she will just give you some excuses.

I know you want answers so that there can be closure, so that you can understand what went wrong, I know I did when I went through my experience, but you might not get those answers because when people break up with you they are not always honest about their reason for doing so.

Most times when they realize that they got with you while they were on the rebound, they end the relationship but can't bring themselves to telling you the real truth about why they want to break up. They will usually just try and ignore you and hope you go away which doesn't help you because you need answers in order to have closure.

In most cases you just have to get on with your life and deal with the pain as well as the frustration of not knowing the real reason why the relationship was ended. Everything will eventually be revealed. Nothing is ever hidden under the sun, the truth always comes out eventually.

Commit everything to God and you will find happiness again with someone else like I did and who knows, the next girl might be the one (that's how it worked out for me)

And also look at my article on relationships started on the rebound.

God Bless you (let me know how you get on)

Paul

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